When you reach a certain level of clout in Hollywood, you no longer have to audition for roles. They’re simply handed to you.
Unless, of course, the role in question is the villain in the biggest blockbuster of the year, Avengers: Age of Ultron. After all, you can’t just hand the most terrifying baddie in the Marvel Cinematic Universe to just any actor. You need someone with a commanding presence, recognizable voice, and the gravitas to command an army of robots hell-bent on destroying the planet. It’s a big task, and only the biggest names in Hollywood are up to it.
And while James Spader certainly does a great job terrorizing the planet in Age of Ultron, it’s hard not to wonder just how some other A-listers would have handled the responsibility. Thanks to Yahoo! Movies and a little cinema magic, we will no longer be haunted by that exact question.
Sure, Spader was intimidating, but can he make drinking a milkshake seem as bone-chilling as Daniel Day-Lewis? Does he have the ability to make ordering a slice of pie à la mode sound both menacing and hilarious, the way that Christopher Walken can? We didn’t think so.
The most important thing that these “lost” auditions have taught us isn’t that Al Pacino is still the best angry-shouter in Hollywood, or that the phrase “I drink your milkshake” can still strike fear into the hearts of audiences everywhere. No, the most valuable thing we’ve learned from these tapes is that Avengers: Age of The Dude would’ve been a much, much funnier film.
Take it under consideration for your next movie, Joss Whedon.
Tagged: Avengers: Age of Ultron, Christopher Walken, Daniel Day-Lewis, Movies
